I've been feeling very good about life. Having dealt with all the drama of people I carried along through life, I have actually felt like a lot of the stress has come off of me..and it has allowed me to process all that I learned from everyone over these past 6 years...
I say 6 years because that is when I first started dating...and since then, I have been constantly drowning in drama, either externally caused, or self inflicted. This is the first time I have felt like I was remotely free of it all, and I like it.
From all of these things, I've seen a few things...when I eliminate drama, I can enjoy my time better. I don't have to constantly stay busy, to distract myself, I can lay around and day dream, imagine my future, design clothes in my head, whatever I want, because I'm mostly free to think. I've also learned that I don't deserve to put up with men that are not at the same place I am. I have seen potential in a lot of guys, and basically waited for them to get to the point I needed them to be at...the issues with that though are that he may never get there, and that simple lesson has taken me 6 years to figure out.
Plus this has allowed me to be braver....as stupid as it sounds...for example, before this time, I would never have gone out alone..because of some fear that I can't explain, though I know it's tied to the men I've put around myself...and I went out this past Friday, all by myself, and had a good time...so, I guess I'm saying I'm learning to be REALLY comfortable in my own skin...and mind...
I remember thinking that this summer was going to be hard for me, with a lot of my friends not being here, and the situations I needed to manage, but it turned out to be exactly what I needed, and just like always, I found my way, and enjoyed myself. There were some rough spots, but I am happy with the place I am emotionally, socially, etc. I am ready to make the changes happen...
...just in time for my 3000 mile move to a place that is unfamiliar, where I don't know anyone...
I'm SO excited...
p.s. CONGRATS SIS! (she has an adorable baby BOY! Zaier Christian!)
