...i should be over this...

...and I'm not...everyone is telling me I should let go..it's time to move on...but my roommate said something that I think is more true...there are some things in life you never get over...you just learn to accept that and move around it...so I think that's more of what I need to do..I need to just try and move forward...there's nothing I personally can do about the situation..I need to just try and find a peace within myself to make life keep going..I've been looking in all the wrong places..other people, some sort of gratification, be it work, school or a boy..and I need to just accept that there is only me and for now that's all I got..

night..

just need to write..

so yea, i'm just in a weird kind of limbo. I feel myself holding onto him, knowing I shouldn't. who knows if he'll ever come back...and if he does, what's to say he won't leave again? I feel guilty for wanting to move on and that's not ok...so I am working on moving forward, and putting the guilt behind me...as I propose my thesis and begin to design a dress, and my Halloween costume(I'm gonna be an Aquarius...lol..) so yea...a lot is going on and I just want to go dance, have a few drinks and get it all out..I may have to fly solo just to get it out lol..

<3