heya

The past few days have been weird. I've been trying to figure out what I want and need emotionally, I guess. I'm single again, but I don't feel like its right. So I'm trying to figure out whether I should wait to see where things go? Or look for some sort of new companionship, or just fool around...I don't like any of these Ideas, but I REALLY don't feel like being alone. I still feel pretty isolated in the city. So I've been trying to find some new partners in Crime (Miss my MU, DC, and NN Fams...you know who you are).

Been trying to focus on just class and such, but oddly enough, its harder after Sunday, like I have some spot to fill...and I don't like it...

O well...gotta play the hand I'm dealt I guess...just waiting it out til the last card is drawn, and I can move onto a new hand..lol...

O! in juxtaposition to this, I went on a bike ride by myself to Sausolito and back. It was pretty nice too..I finally crossed the Golden Gate, and saw a beautiful skyline of the city and Twin Peaks framed by the fog....too bad my camera is bad ass enough to capture it...Also, Sausolito is goregous..its a quaint little beachtown. I'd love to retire there..or at least go for a night...dinner and a stroll by the water...one day..lol

Anyhow, I had that moment again...where I saw all this beautiful stuff, but have no one to share it with...funny how I always find myself there..

"Morning. Strawberry sky dusted with white winter powder sugar sun. And nobody to munch on it with"


Night All..
The Sartor

meh...

So, I just want to vent a bit....I'm overworked, underpaid, and (much to my disliking) newly single. I've been trying to make it all work...but it looks like it's been too much. I fucked the relationship to hell, and all I can seem to do is work. I don't do anything fun, so I guess it's time to just start saying fuck it (mostly to sleep I guess) and just go out and be silly.

I need to meet some people, shake my ass a bit, be crazy...I'm in San Fran, right?

...I dunno, I just wanted me and this boy to work out, I felt like we could, but he has no reason to believe that, and it's not fair to make him wait. I think I may have lost out on the one guy who has been the best to me...o well, I would screw up something good...

...well, like he said, if it was meant to be, right?

ok..time to go to class and get it together..

the sartor