Is a letter enough?

I wonder if I am being dramatic, or trying to live my life like a movie, or what...and I need some outside opinion, so this is a post that I'd like some response to...

I am emotionally holding onto someone...and I have been working on letting go, but I need to wrap it up mentally, before I can move on..literally and figuratively...so, I'm wondering if a letter is a good choice..

I feel like I need to wrap it up, and speak my piece, for my own mental sake. I know otherwise, I won't get the closure I need...and I need more than any other time in this case...

the reason I don't feel like I can have the conversation in person is that 1) I will get emotional, and not be clear or say what I need to, and 2) I am afraid I will lose the ground I have gained in moving on by physically seeing him...which also means I'd deliver the note and go...

but my instinct tells me that this is a bit of a cop out...yet it is a necessary one...i just don't kno....

comments welcome and appreciated!

thesartor

the clearest mirror you can find...

...is in the eye of another...

Isn't it funny how you can see something someone else is doing and know what they should do, but when you are that person, everything is so muddled?

I've had that experience with a few of my friends recently. And I think it is one of the only ways I ever learn lessons in life. I watch others and help them, and in doing so, some of the confusing parts of what I lived begin to make sense...maybe that's the whole purpose of this blog...who knows..just a thought I thought I'd share..

Muah..
the Sartor

Who says you can't learn from movies...?

..I think you can take something out of everything...

I have watched two movies in the past few days...August Rush and Jumper...both of which I enjoyed....August Rush for the hope it put back in me...and Jumper to metaphorically express what I've been doing...

August Rush is about a young Prodigy, who uses his gift of music to find the parents he never met. It is such a sweet movie...This boy is full of hope. He hears music in everything. And he, like his parents have these two traits..perseverance and faith in himself...

Jumper is about a young(and very attractive, i might add..lol) man who can teleport to any place on earth. He encounters all these problems, and then is forced to confront them head on when he's hunted...

August Rush made me realize that, yea, this are hard, but I gotta keep moving and know that my gifts will get me to the people and places I need to be...I mean I am going to San Francisco...and it has always been a dream of mine to see and live in CA..and it's happening..so, I know that if I keep my eyes and ears open, the other things I need in life will come..I just have to make sure I show up to get them...

and Jumper made me realize that although I am leaving, I can't run from my problems here..I have to address them as best I can..and accept what I can't do, only after having tried to fix it....

...but I wouldn't mind if I could jump a bit..haha 

time to dream a bit..

the Sartor

I promise myself..

...that I'm gonna do better.

I put myself in a cycle which I know I need to get out of...well a few cycles...

So, today, I'm blogging this to let myself(and the rest of the world, I guess) that its time to break these cycles. I heard on the radio this morning (while commuting) that if you need something, you gotta speak on it, and this is not the first time...I've been lying around, waiting, but I'm gonna speak on it...

• I'm going to make it thru this summer...happily
• I'm going to safely and comfortabley make it to San Francisco
• I'm going to find a job, both here and in San Francisco, that I am happy with
• I'm going to meet wonderful and amazing friends in San Fran.
• I'll be happy and successful
• I'll keep in touch with my friends here
  
• Lastly(and most important to me) I'll find love out there and keep it this time..

That's my list!
Let's see how things play out, shall we!

the Sartor

Rock Bottom...

...means you can only go up.

I'm in the stage of depression where you just start to feel a little better, so you can get into trouble...and no I don't mean suicide silly, I mean where I do things that put me in a worse position, like listen to the wrong music, or talk to the wrong people...

..i've been having a hard summer, having still not really started working (I had a job that didn't work out, so I'm on the hunt, if u have any suggestions.) I'm also going thru a lot of emotional changes..some romantic, some friend, some family, some internal, all intense, having hit me at once.
I am just ready to go...but the more and more I reflect on what is happening, I am realizing that I need to learn patience...I mean, I knew that already, but everything this summer, is a waiting game...waiting for my friends to get back to me...waiting to hear back from jobs, waiting to find out what is going on with men in my life, waiting for the right time to say how I feel...waiting for the next step...

...and anyone who knows me, knows I am not very good at waiting for much of anything..

so I guess I'll learn...but its not an easy process...but it seems that nothing in life that is worthwhile is...