cycles...

I'm learning about myself recently...mainly in the arena of love and relationships. I'm getting the impression that people found relationships that are similar to ones in the past. The familiar is something we naturally gravitate towards. Sometimes that's good. For example, a lot of the qualities in my best friend Jennah can be found in my friend Christina. Both are silly, sweet, amazing girls, who generally understand what I am thinking with just a look. lol so, the cycles i go thru in finding friends is a good one..

...but with men, i seem to gravitate towards one type of guy...the one that doesn't have it together emotionally. they seem very good for me in the beginning...and they have tons of potential to be lifetime commitments...but the main issue is that communication is not something that we can manage to make work...and so, things start amazing..then drag out..because there is a lot of gray area...

this is making me crazy...mainly because I have tons of moments of deja vu...and I feel like a fool, because I am reliving the same mistakes...and the simple answer would be to just stop...but I kno that internally, if I just cut them off, I don't give them the chance to make changes...and I have to give them the oppurtunity..or i'll regret it...

I'm just tired of ending up in this position..but I don't notice I'm here until its much too late...:-(